Love, Legacy, and Living Fully with Angie Graham

Welcome to Unwritten, the podcast where we celebrate transformative journeys and uncover the beauty of embracing change. Hosted by Steph Shanks, a portrait photographer, retreat leader, and soon-to-be author, this podcast is dedicated to helping you reconnect with your most authentic self.

Each week, we dive into heartfelt conversations with inspiring individuals who’ve rewritten their own stories, proving it’s never too late to embrace change, discover inner beauty, and live life on your own terms. From overcoming life’s challenges to finding purpose in unexpected places, Unwritten is your space to explore the unwritten chapters of your life.

In this episode, Steph sits down with Angie Graham, President of Our House Senior Living Community, to discuss the power of community, the importance of legacy, and how small acts of kindness can transform lives. Angie shares her journey from real estate to senior living, her passion for creating meaningful experiences for residents, and her inspiring work in sober living. Together, they explore the beauty of human connection, the lessons learned from life’s challenges, and how we can all find purpose in serving others.

Tune in for a conversation filled with heart, wisdom, and inspiration. Let’s uncover the unwritten possibilities of life together.

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Transcript

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Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of Unwritten. Today, I have a really special guest. have Angie Graham. Hi. Thank you so much for braving the cold weather to come over today. Well, thank you for the invite. Yeah. So something kind of cool is last week I was on Angie's podcast. we have so many things in common, but one is we both have podcasts. Yes. Now you had a really cool guest on that I watched. You had the Hoarders guy on. Yeah, Matt Paxton. Matt Paxton. I love Hoarders. It's one of my favorite shows. And after I listened to it, I'm like, I'm going to start a decluttering business. That's great. However, I realize that might, maybe, maybe not. So Angie is the president of a wonderful, I want to call it an assisted living facility, but it's bigger than that. How many are there? 31 altogether, assisted living communities. Communities, thank you. Yes, because it is a community. what I love about what you're doing, which is a little bit different, is well, first off, you're doing the podcast. Thing wasn't it Valentine's Day and you do a prom. Yeah, and the adopted we we we started coming up with ideas that would bring purpose to our residents and and give them something to look forward to and one of the things that we started right away was Valentine's Day it started out as Years ago like let's get our residents Valentine's Day cards and then it's turned into now We do adopt a grandparent and not every resident is a grandparent. So sometimes it's adopt a friend and then communities and sometimes all over the, in some cases the request for valentines go viral and they get valentine cards literally from all over the world. And Baraboo was one of those locations that went viral a few years ago and they literally, the mailman was bringing in, you know, Baskets of cards and they opened up cards for four months So they felt really special there and from all over the world France Italy all over the world. That's amazing. Yeah, What's the plan for this year? Well, we're you know, we're doing the same because it's a very popular event and we usually Baraboo they team up with Neato's bakery. Okay, a community member can buy then a cookie for the resident as well And then any extra cookies that we have like if we get a lot of community support we encourage or share those with other senior facilities in the community so when all of our residents get their treats then we share it and it goes on to the Next whether it's nursing home or assisted living the community and you also do I saw that I'm gonna say it wrong, but it was some sort of legacy thing Yeah, now that's new. just started doing that and that's where Matt Paxton came in because he was a keynote speaker at a marketing event that one of my marketing person had attended out in Las Vegas. And he does a show called the Legacy List and it's on PBS and he goes in and he helps people identify mementos that in some way was either part of their family history what it meant and get the history on it. And he was talking about, you know, everyone has a legacy. So Haley took that and she came back and she's like, let's do this for the residents. Let's ask them what their legacy is or what they want their legacy to be. And then with that, we added the bucket list. Let's ask them what is something they always wanted to do and didn't get to do. And some residents, the response you get is they feel like they've had a full life. They just want to spend time with their family. It's very simple. We've had other residents that still had dreams that they didn't get to do. Like we had a lady go up in a hot air balloon. Her and her husband were always going to do that together. He passed away. So she took the ashes with his ashes with her and went up in the hot air balloon so he could be there with her to experience that. Because that was something they always talked about doing that they never got to do. That's beautiful. Well, thank you for making me cry. So My grandparents had something a little bit similar but very low-key they were in assisted living and They were able and my grandpa's in a wheelchair and they hadn't been out to the family farm in a while and so the community they brought my grandparents out to my parents house and It was the most beautiful thing. I got to be there and take some pictures, but my grandpa hadn't seen a cornfield in you know, a few years, because they hadn't been driving. And it was just the most, he was just so content just to be there. And... You know, it's it's always about like, it's it's never the big things. It's about the little things. It's about dreams that you have with your partner or dreams that you have with with yourself or your kids or dogs. It's you know, we we we put so much pressure on ourselves to be, you know, climb the corporate ladder or be be somebody that we want to be. But at the end of the day. What's most important is what have you learned from your years of being in this field? Well, I think that we tend to complicate our lives. And what I've learned from individuals at the end of life is it's usually the simplest things. They want to be surrounded by the love of their family, their grandkids. We had one resident that just wanted to go back to where he grew up and see the town again and see the school and just go back there one more time, something he always wanted to do and just hadn't done it. So it's it's it was interesting because we have I've seen a video that one of the residents we asked residents if you had a million dollars What would you do with it? Well when you're 90 years old You know the lady just said yeah, I don't know it wasn't interesting to her at that stage because What would she do and maybe give you maybe give it to her family? you know we put so much value in things and other things and accomplishments that if you, you know, if this was your last day today, what would you want to do? And there's somebody else that I think there was another snippet I seen it was a tick tock or something and it said if today was your last day, would you rather have a tomorrow or a million dollars today?$10 million today. And most people pick a tomorrow. They wouldn't exchange that for money. Absolutely. So. It's all about, I think, you get to that stage in life and it becomes your values change when you're faced with this is the last chapter. how did you get into this? First off, how did you get into this career? Well, I for eight years I was a real estate agent and I did pretty well doing that doing that and then there was the 2008 housing crash and I realized I was going to have to go get a job that gave me more of a consistent income than just Earning a commission in a very uncertain market at that time things things got pretty bad And so I saw an ad and they were looking for the company that I'm with now They were looking for a marketing person My dad had had young onset dementia And so I had gone through the journey as a daughter ten years prior when he declined and then was eventually in a memory care, so I thought marketing and sales position I totally could connect with what families were going through and I also really liked when my dad was there all the residents and I just thought It was a very purpose driven Feel it, you know came with a lot of purpose and rewards. So that's how I started I was a marketing person and I spent time in the locations with the And I just love the residents and in a memory care you have to be ready for some really blatant honesty because it's not the person it's the disease and you never know what they may Say to you they have good days and bad days just like we do but many times it's more beautiful because They'll see you and they may recognize you they don't know how But when you frequent I would frequent between some locations, and I just always had I just always felt so good to talk to residents and you sometimes they recognize you and think you're family which is just really a gift and you'll sit with them and they'll want to hold your hand or so that just pulled on my heartstrings and I just realized that I found my place and it helped me really reconcile and with my dad's death because he, we lost him so young and it just didn't seem fair and you know, why did that happen? I always felt like I was robbed of him. I was only, you know, he was gone and I was 28. Oh, how old was he when? 67. Okay. So he lived with the disease for about 10 years and then he was in a facility for, think almost three. So my mom kept him home and took care of him as she could and then eventually She couldn't do it anymore either Yeah, so well, that's That's a cool story. Yeah, you know from real estate which I'm sure you were very good at because you're very kind and you're intelligent and then you went to something else completely different Well, I was able you know It was a great career to transition into this business from because it gave me a lot of experience through the years and dealing with a lot of different people and situations and problem solving. And when you're in real estate, you're just trying to get the deal together, hold the deal together, get them to closing so that you get you get paid. That's the reward at the end. But also making sure that everyone is happy in the transit transaction and try to keep things going smoothly. So, you know, you just I just was able to take what I learned There which during I had a lot of growth there that really prepared me for coming into this business It was a huge learning curve learning state regulations because eventually I was asked to step into an operational role and There was a lot to learn as we are Heavily regulated here in Wisconsin more so than in other states, which is it's a good thing really but there was a learning curve I had to get through with that and working within operations and And there were times it was, know, some people are like, well, how did you, you why did you stay so long now? How did you make it? And it was just, you had to be stronger than the days that you wanted to quit. I mean, there's that time. I had times when I was like, this is just way too much, it's too emotional. You're dealing with families that their loved one is passing away. You're dealing with families that they're feuding amongst each other. You know, every situation is different. you're dealing with you know death it's a can be very a lot of emotions there with that and You just it was tough at times and But I just reminded myself it's gonna be tough Every job has its ups and downs and I just really felt that I was in the right place and I had to see it through Yeah, and also So as you're talking about this I was just thinking about how You know how much choice we really have in life because it seems like every step kind of just prepares us for the next step, right? You know, what you went through with your dad prepared you for the next thing and the next thing and something that you and I have in common is we're both teen moms. Yeah. And that'll come out in your podcast. But that won't be out till what summer or something. So we're talking about it now. We're talking about it again. And I think during that time when I was 16 and I was in the NICU watching my babies even just, you know, trying to understand that they were mine and how to care for them. How then I end up becoming a massage therapist because I mean, baby massage was a big part of NICU. And I never would have become a massage therapist. And if I wasn't a massage therapist, then I would have never been able to have the life that I had as a young mom. So it's just really, really interesting how we're really just stepping along. And when you come to an assisted living community, that's just another step. For sure. And it's unfortunate that there is so much emotion involved. Well, but it's important work, right? Someone has to end. When my dad was declining and in the end of his disease, he no longer knew me as his daughter. It was extremely hard for me to go visit him because he wouldn't sit with me. He didn't recognize me. He didn't understand why we were sitting and he'd get up. He was the guy that was always pacing. And I see families go through that and caregivers, this is why caregivers are so important, that sometimes it's hard to be the daughter and the son the loved one when you're seeing someone in that state of disease and it was hard for me to want to go visit because it was a reminder I had already lost him but he was still here. You know I couldn't go and have those dad-daughter talks. I couldn't tell him what I've been doing with my life. I couldn't tell him all I could be there is just there to see him and it was it's such a hard thing to go through and so we do see that happen with residents the families maybe don't visit real often and that's where we have to be our caregivers have been and they're the family and they're there every day for the people because dementia is a very difficult thing because you lose your loved one to the disease before they're gone. And now you're dealing with, I always say it's no longer the person, it's the disease. So what we call them behaviors, I hate that word, but they become not who they once were. And the personality that they once had, changes because of the disease. So the disease takes over and it's hard for families because they're trying to still recognize the loved one or their mom or their dad or you know this isn't who they are and. And so those are difficult things. And because I've had this experience, I'm really passionate for people and want to provide a good service for them and want to provide good care. So it's something I'm very passionate about. And something that has kind of come out of all this too is the other side of who you are, which is you do sober living as well, correct? Can we talk about that a little bit? Absolutely. And how did that? Because I'm sure that all of your knowledge has prepared you for this, which is also very difficult, very family oriented, especially with women and kids. Go ahead. Yeah. You we talked about my podcast that you know, I've got kind of a messy history I've been married and divorced a few times and I'm not ashamed of it because that's just part of who I am I can't change it. Yeah, that's who I am So you you embrace it as who you are as a person same girl same and So along the way you meet people in your life and this is your journey I was at a point in my life that when I met Beth and Ben and I are married now. After going through a divorce you're questioning yourself a lot. Like what is my purpose? am I supposed to be doing? What is the bigger picture other than just I have a great job I have a great family. I have so many things to be Lucky about and feel fortunate about and when I was going through counseling after my divorce because I went and I needed to talk about some things and so I was going to therapist visit and I sat on her couch and You know, she's like well what brings you here today? And I'm like, you know what I have absolutely nothing to complain about Because when I really like get out that when I really sit on the outside looking in I have a job I Can take care of myself. I have a warm place to live. I have water I you know when I look at all of my needs are met I'm really only here because I'm dealing with a loss, which is the loss of this relationship. so I, you know, there's so many people that go through changes of life and then there's the suffering because of it and I didn't have that. But I said, I'm still, you know, I still want to come to terms with it so that I can become healthy and move on. And so I do think counseling was important part of my journey, but it was not a place I wasn't going to live on that couch. was gonna pick myself up from it and continue on with, I had too many positive things to stay stuck there. And so I was gonna pick myself up and move on. So I met Ben, I'm getting kind of, but the history was important with that, right? So I met Ben and Ben was in recovery and what he did is he helped other guys by mentoring them into sobriety. And so I met a lot of his friends people that he worked with and I was just so inspired by where they had come from versus where they had gotten to which you see them just You know they went from living in a tent in a park to now they found a career they there you know they're moving they're back into life and they're moving on with life and I just thought it was really inspirational And talked about sober living and I said, well, hey, I know a lot about housing people and communal living and you know a lot about sobriety and what it takes. this community really needs it. So let's let's open a sober living and help people in the community. And that's how it got started. And so we started a program a little over a year ago and we now have three houses. people that have people that need it but people that want it there's a lot of people that need recovery and then there's those that want it so we try to help those that want it and there has to be a certain point where someone says this life isn't working for me and I have to make a change and sometimes that takes several attempts for them to get there, but I think we all know of someone who's addicted or You know their family member is addicted whether it's alcohol drugs pills the opioid epidemic It's become so prevalent in our really hit our small communities hard So we wanted to be a part of that so you're kind of up your You see that way more probably than I see that or that's a How do you at the end of the day then what do you do for self-care? How do you turn all that off and? Make sure that you're getting taken care of because You have so much giving that's happening, how do you give back to yourself? Re-energize, that can be tricky sometimes. But I think the years of just consistently doing what I do. I've not I don't shoulder so much and take it home I know that that drive home is time for me to decompress and everything that I have on my plate is going to be there tomorrow and I start thinking about I listen to a lot of talk radio I start just thinking about other things and and taking my mind away from where my day ended and where my evening is going to start and I just have a routine and that's you know your success or your downtime that begins in our routines. It's establishing whatever routine that you need. And I'm very much a ritual to my routines, right? And I go home at night and I will drink a tea or water. It depends on... The evening as to what I want. I like to watch wheel of fortune as funny as that is I'm a total old person And I like to try to solve puzzles and And sometimes I'm crocheting and sometimes I am, but I'm just internalizing my thoughts and really trying to keep my self talk positive. And I am very choosy about my boundaries and who I share space with. And I've just learned that that's something that you have to do. There are people that are healthy for you and people that are unhealthy for you. And through the years, I think I've gotten better at Having boundaries and really keeping my inner circle to the people that are going to nourish me emotionally in a positive way. Yeah, I feel that way too, especially after my last divorce. I realized how much I was giving away. And you learn real quick. It's a country song. It's you find out who your friends are and those friends that that stuck by me and pick up the phone. No matter what I needed. Sure. Your circle does get smaller when you go through hard things. And it's a blessing. It is because it teaches you strength. It teaches you strength whether you want to learn it or not. You got to get through it and you got to pick yourself up. the next day comes and the next day comes. Life goes on. No one knows what your struggles are. Life just goes on. And as much as you want it to stop for a while, it doesn't. so that was for me going to work was a blessing. and my coworkers at work were a blessing. And I didn't necessarily share everything that was going on in my life with everybody. But it's just being in good company, just being with people. And we all had the same mission. And then there was some of those coworkers that I closer with that I did share that I was going through a tough time because I thought it was important for them. to know so that they could be that encouragement that I might need. yeah, I don't think, there's so many people that go through things that everyone deals with it differently. And the thing about people in recovery is it's the same for them. They've had a trauma somewhere in their life and they made a choice. to use and when they made the choice, they thought they could handle it. They believed that, I'm not gonna be, no one picks up a needle and says, oh, I'm gonna go be a junkie. That's not the thought. I'm going to alleviate this pain that I'm feeling right now and I'm going to use, because it takes me to a place of relief. It's a solution at that time. it eventually robs them of everything. Yeah, I have a friend, and she was on my podcast, wrote a book about it, that the first time she tried heroin was the first time she didn't feel pain. And she lost everything because of that, you know, that first time of finally not feeling pain anymore. And that's a real, a real issue. Absolutely. It robs the individual of themselves. their children, their place to live, and in some cases, their life. And we're just trying to save lives. we have to save families too. Yeah, I mean, we have some strict rules within the houses because you can't have anyone there using. And so if they are using, They got 15 minutes to pack their bags and leave because that can trigger someone else and There's a few different reasons if you've been sober for a while and now you're gonna use That's a choice they're free to make they can make that choice, but we don't want them Ben often says you're not dying in our house Yeah, so that's a choice you're gonna make Not gonna trigger anyone else here It's time for you to go Where do you see the most peace? P-E-A-C-E throughout all your day, throughout the different things that you have to do for your job and your businesses? Where is the moment when Angie's like, I love my job. I love this. What fills you up at work? Success. It's never been for me about people think it's about money and but for me it's always been about achieving the success It's been about the choice that I was going to live a different life than other people may choose Life is about choices, really, when it comes down to people just think, well, this just happens to be. There's usually a choice. You made the choice, and that happened, right? So I was learning to make choices that... And it was about being successful. And when I grew up extremely poor and my parents moved around and those were their choices that they made. And it made it difficult for me growing up. Some of those choices and I just as many of us do. We love our parents. I love my parents. Don't get me wrong. But I knew pretty young that I wanted to make different choices in life. I didn't want to move my kids around to a bunch of Schools I didn't want to you know there were things that I didn't want to do although I moved on plenty when they were younger And it was just I was young trying to make it mm-hmm But I wanted to have them I wanted them to have a different experience than I did and So it was those things that I was trying to make different choices in life because I wanted a different outcome And I wanted you know I chased and pursued success Because early on when I was pursuing success, I was trying to fill myself internally to make me to build my own self-esteem. And eventually what I realized is success doesn't, success alone doesn't build your self-esteem. There's some emotional things that you have to work with with that and self-beliefs. And I had to overcome self-beliefs. And then I had to, you the real freedom was reaching a point when I no longer cared what other people thought. That's the ultimate gift to yourself is no longer caring what other people think. And when I reached that, that was the ultimate power. And it's not because I want to go around and be a rude person. That's not it at all. You don't come across like that at all. So people think that that sounds pretty harsh. But the truth is the only people that I really care about what they think are the people that are closest to me. Well, I love them the most. But it was the freedom of making decisions and even business decisions. They're my decisions. I have to live with them. They're no one else's. I'm making the decisions for 600 residents. I'm making decisions for 600 employees, but those are my decisions. But the great thing is, is I can make a different decision at any time. So even if I make the wrong decision, identify it quickly and change it. But life is full of a lot of choices. And I think all too often, we make the choices that we make because we've learned behavior from other people, whether it's our loved ones or family or significant others, whatever it is. Or how many times have you talked to people and said, it's not what I really wanted to do, but I settled and I did this. Those are all choices. And you have to choose something different if you want a different outcome. It's a really simple thing to say, but it's so true. It's so true, and it's really difficult to... Redefine success and that's exactly what it sounds like you did you went from? He thought success and I did it too was financial abundance for me. It was having the nice house the nice cars the businesses the Being established in the community and When I realized that I was feeling empty inside and the only person That was the only thing that was going to fill that up was my own self-love and self-worth. I too had to change what success looks like. And if I wanted to stay in that people-pleasing place, that was a choice. And I decided I couldn't live in that box anymore. And boy, oh boy. You make different choices You make such different choices with everything and you're right if it doesn't feel good Don't do it if it if you start doing something and it doesn't work stop doing it. There's no we're not guaranteed tomorrow No, and in Life is that there's a lot of choice we make choices every day how you do it when you wake up the morning and You already choose what kind of day you're gonna have. Yeah And can either choose to be angry today or you can choose to not be triggered today. Yesterday, I was triggered, so I was angry part of the day. And I recognize it right away. I'm like, you're choosing this behavior right now. But it's serving me right now because I'm irritated that the heat is not working and I'm cold. Oh, that would be annoying. But I could choose the positive of it is that I have a heater under my desk and I have a blanket. and it's going to be just fine, the furnace guy is coming. So, you know, but for a while I chose to be angry and what, who am I serving? I'm just putting myself into that state. If someone calls me, I'm picking up the phone and I'm in the angry state. And you know, it's not self-serving. so we're in control of that. And I finally had to say to myself, you're just fine. You've got a heater under the desk and blanket and you can still go on and you can, your day is going to be just fine. If this is the only thing that happens today, you've got this. And that's what we have to remind ourselves is that there are always going to be up and downs. So if you don't prepare for it, if you expect that something's going to go wrong, then when it happens, not such a big deal. So whether you think you can or you think you can't. Yeah, something that I've found that I just started doing in the last month or so was almost preparing myself for the next stage of the day. So in the evening, it's T. And then before bed, I get my coffee all ready for the morning. And in the morning, it's meditation, journaling, not picking up the phone right away. So I'm ready for my clients. And I find that those little steps really help me so that I can stay grounded when things. do happen because as a single mom, you know, cat, dog, I'm doing it all on my own and things inevitably happen. And I have to, I have to be, I have to show up. I have to show up for my clients. I have to show up for my kid. You know, you can't control what happens. You can only control how you react to it. Yeah. Yeah, so what do you yeah exactly so doing the things that do you react in peace or do you react in in anger and? You know, I have to remind myself of that. I'm always working on myself, always. I have a self-dialogue because sometimes there's a little girl in me that creeps up. Even when I think I have dealt with something a long time ago, it's always there. Your body's familiar, it's familiar to you. It really is. I know I was I was doing a podcast the other day and I was saying I think I finally found this space in my life where I feel like I have peace and then yeah yesterday was a shit show and I'm like, oh Where's that person that said that because the same thing like it's it's it's always almost It's not a fight, but it's always you have to be present You have to have awareness, I think is what it is. And there are times that even in my... 52 year old self. I know exactly what it is. There's something that triggers a memory even something some little thing will trigger a memory and it'll be my eight year old self or my 14 year old self or my 16 year old self and it'll it triggers the feeling that went with that memory and I have to logically tell myself You are just you were triggered. You're having a feeling that's taking you way back. That's not who you are today. Yeah not that and sometimes it's something somebody says to me even it will be a can be a trigger but having awareness of it and knowing what it is you just got to be kind to yourself always and talk your way out of it I 100 % agree yeah with your internal dialogue yes and that every time we do that we're not only helping ourselves we're ending that generational curse right the of For our the people that we love right absolutely So you have a podcast I do what's it called? We're talking about it. Okay, and where can people find you? We're talking about it at Buzzsprout, right? YouTube.com We're talking about it dot Buzzsprout.com YouTube, Spotify, Apple YouTube, Spotify, Apple, and Amazon. Thank you. All right. And what is your podcast about? my podcast is about senior, you know, obviously the business that I'm in. My podcast is also just about experiences that I've had interviewing other other women such as yourself. My podcast is about, you know, life as a journey. Whatever shows up. And I'm like, that'll be a great podcast, let's do it. A lot of it has to do around senior living, honestly, because I wanna make a change in the industry and how we take care of people. And healthcare, there's things out there like healthcare crisis and all of those things. So I do want to... impact other providers that are out there and Challenge them to how they think about the industry because a lot has changed and there's going to be I think a lot more change horizons Yes, and we're also coming up on The baby boomers are all Yes, there's a huge change that's gonna be happening a shift in everything from housing to Assisted living communities to business to everything so I think go ahead my original Passion to do the podcast came out of every time there was a story written about a nursing home or a senior living, was something tragic. And I was really frustrated with that because our caregivers do so many good things on a daily basis and no one wants to talk about that. They want to write about some tragic thing that happened. And when you look statistically at the statistics, that's a small percentage. And things do happen and they are tragic. So I don't want to take that. If anyone's had a bad experience, you know, say that things that happen, we don't want those things. I don't want those things to happen and I know things can happen, but it's a very small percentage when you look at the overall of how many caregivers show up and take care of people, because many of them don't do it for the money. You know, we should be paying them what attorneys make, but the industry's not built that way. These are people that genuinely have the calling and want to take care of other people. they feel that they were called to do. so it was about wanting to put out good messaging that this is what we're doing. And I just got tired of watching the national news and watching some story, horrific story that happened somewhere. It played over and over and over again. And then the I am proud of what I do and other people that do this job. It's difficult work. being a nurse is difficult. And now we talk about the healthcare crisis and we need nurses and we need, well, if you want people to go into this industry, then there needs to be the respect that goes along with doing the work. And now they're doing the work without the help that they used to have. So yeah, a big part of wanting to do a podcast was wanting to change the messaging. Yeah, you're being the change that you seek. Right. It was very frustrating. You've got all these people that are working hard and love their residents. That's what I hear. I love my residents. I love my residents. So much love for our people. But then it'll be some tragic story is what people read in the newspapers. yeah, changing the, yeah, just exactly right. Wanted to be the voice of change. Yeah. I did a photo shoot at an assisted living in Oregon. a few weeks ago and it really inspired me to kind of just give more. So I have a friend at the dog park, I shouldn't say that out loud because I know Jake's listening, who needs extra help with her husband, he has MS. And so I'm in the process of becoming a caregiver for him. Obviously not because of the money, but because we all are going to experience that, we're going to need help. Whether it's caring for our loved one or caring for ourselves and we all have to come together and and help one another Absolutely, I think every kid who graduates from high school Should go and work with the elderly and have that experience Yeah, and have the and get to know someone who has so much knowledge and so much experience and Ask them about life. Yeah and helps them And they can help each other. Absolutely. It's such a wholesome experience. It doesn't mean you have to choose to be a caregiver your whole career. But to go do that type of work and work with people, especially nowadays where everything is, you know, we don't, they don't have enough human interaction with all the technology. It's a great, there's great lessons to be learned. I 100 % agree and that's exactly what I felt when I was doing the photo session that we are at the end of the day human and it's easy to forget that when we are so wrapped up in technology on our phone there's nothing that's going to replace being human. And I think life is really short. Yeah. And I just think about the last 30 years and how like gone, you know. And it does not seem like that long ago and I'm saying these things that my parents used to say now I'm like that, know life goes fast. You're like when you're 20. Yeah, whatever right? Yeah Yeah, you know I just I just want to jump ahead and skip these years and you know have a house and a car that doesn't break down Right and when you're at that time, you don't know How great of blessings you really have being young until you start to get older and you realize? You know, that's what an old person would say. I agree. Yes. You know. I never really worried about falling. I walk even just today walking the dog in the snow. It's like, oh, I hope it's not icy. It just happens like that. Totally true. I went outside a couple of weeks ago with my slippers on and then came in on the tile floor and just about did the splits. And I was scared, very fearful of getting hurt. Right away, I think I don't have time to be hurt. Am I OK? That's my first thought. And then I'm like, why are you going outside in your slippers? You're not that young anymore. Yep. I know. I was like, I should put some. I need like knee pads now to go outside. Yeah. And that's, know, my grandparents would always say, you know. Call make sure you know watch for deer call me when you get home all that stuff and it is because you worry so much more about things when you're older and You more more people to care about and you've seen more things happen. Yeah. Yeah It breaks you down it's true which is again that blessing of just being here and So is there anything else you would love to add to our little Our little podcast date today. Well, I think it's been really great to connect with someone that I have so many things in common. Yeah. And, you know, this is just probably one of any podcasts that we'll end up to. I hope so. You know, for a long time, I didn't have. Role models, right, growing up with being a teen mom and then being divorced twice. And then I just recently realized that I did have role models. were Maya Angelou. It was in the books that I read about women that were making a difference and just being truthful to who they are and the men they love. And it's a beautiful thing. Yes, for sure. So I honor your. You and your story and I hope there are many more to come. Yeah, I honor your story too. They're important stories to tell because let's face it back when we were teenage moms. It was like a scarlet letter. Yeah, you didn't you weren't allowed to It was like you were almost shamed for it and I want to change that I mean, it's it's a difficult role to be in but I learned so much from it and it it is the basis that has built me to be the person that I am today because I taught. I myself so many things. I was far stronger than I thought I was. For sure, yeah. I had those responsibilities and my kids have been such a blessing. I've learned so much. We grew up, I always tell them we grew up together. Yeah, I tell my kids that too. Yeah. So. They, you know, just now it's the only way that I know and that's how it was. I wouldn't change it because that was my experience. yeah. Same. I wouldn't change anything. the love that I was able to develop so young for somebody else, I do think shaped me in the most positive way possible. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And you can do anything you want. The only barrier is our own self-belief. I agree. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you listeners for tuning in to another episode of unwritten and I look forward to seeing you next week.