Don't Forget To Fill Your Cup

Happy July 3rd. This morning I sat with the birds and my journal and remembered something I'd forgotten: the importance of filling my own cup first.

This episode is a real one. I get into the reality we see versus the reality we feel, and why so many of us are running a program we inherited: the same job, the same house, the same everything, because sameness feels safe. I talk about being a seeker in a world built for factory workers, about shedding layers to grow (even when it means losing what you built), and about finally understanding at 45 that I am my own safe space, and that I'm worthy of better clients, better income, and a bigger life than the program ever let me believe.

If you've been feeling the pull toward something more, this one's for you. Take a deep breath, fill your cup, and don't be afraid. The life you want is already waiting.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everybody, happy July 3rd. I've been sitting here thinking about this idea of making sure that we are filling up our own cups. And I think it's such an easy thing to disregard the importance of visualizing that our cups are being filled with love, with money, with success, with happiness, with joy. Because there's this reality that we see, and then there's the reality that we feel. And unless we're feeling into the new, the cup floweth over, it's really easy to get distracted in what we physically see. And it might sound a little bit woo to you, but there's also scientific studies being done that what we feel and the energy we emit has pull, it has electricity. So you have to think that if we this energy that now can be tracked is real, then what are we doing watching the TikToks and watching TV and doing these things that are non-energetically aligned with who we want to become or who we are in life? And this morning, as I was sitting here listening to the birds and doing some journaling, I remembered that I had forgotten that important piece of the feeling of having my cup full. And for and coming off of 2025, which was my most successful year ever with photography financially. And now this year, again, going into this transformation of okay, I I really just want to work with aligned clients. I don't want to just be busy all the time doing everything for everybody. I think I forgot that it's okay. I think I I haven't put in the energy of yes, I am limiting my amount of time I can work, and I'm limiting the amount of clients I can take on, and I am eliminating the wrong kind of clients that I want to photograph. And for some reason I had it in my head that that was wrong, right? It's right, wrong, right, wrong. That because I'm doing this big shift and putting up better boundaries and doing more things aligned like the business workshop, like the retreat, like the hikes, that my success is now hindered. And this morning I just realized how much of this transition I've been living in fear that it's proof that I'm not good enough. And you know, looking back at the 2025 me last summer, that was making, you know, so like I was doing so well and shopping and just living my best life, paying off credit cards and putting money into savings. Like I was living a very successful life last summer. And over the winter, I just decided that there's a lot of things I was doing that even though it made money, it did not align with who I was anymore. That I was creating safety and the sameness, but I was not creating experiences and excitement, if that makes sense. And I know there's a time for both, but energetically speaking, if I am not doing things that I enjoy, then for me, my belief system is that I am not truly living. And then I got to thinking about how so many that there's I got to thinking that there's a program that is running most of our lives, and that's the sameness, the same job, the same house, the same spouse, the same friends that if every day looks the same, that somehow that protects us from the bad wolves out there that are gonna come get you. And then there's another category of person that seeks experiences, and that person is okay with change, is okay with starting over, is okay to have the low dips because they know that it'll come back up again. And I fall into that realm of I seek experiences, I seek new things, I seek adventure and new timelines and new perspectives. And my pattern though, my programming is the opposite, and I say that in the most beautiful way because I am so appreciative that my parents have lived in the same house for almost 50 years, and they had similar jobs throughout their lives, and they retired from jobs that they, you know, they spent their lives working towards. And there's part of me, I guess, that feels like because my life looks so different that somehow it's bad. And how these two things have been running in opposition of each other for so long that I I haven't been feeding the adventure side enough. The adventure side is where I go. I am because I was thinking about this when moving in with my boyfriend in September is like uh it's a big deal, but it's also not a big deal. It's like because it's how I live my life. Like, let's just let's just try it. Let's see if it let's see. And that like let like let's go for it. That's the words, and there's a part of me that is resisting that because at 45 I am tired of starting over. But the it's not that I am tired of starting over because I know that every experience that I go into, I learn more about myself. But what's tired is the programming that says I should be further along than I am. And this morning, as I sat here thinking about this, I realized that I'm going to start feeding the adventure side more. I'm gonna stop those patterns of, oh, I just wish things could stay the same for a minute in my life. Because what would my life look like if everything just stayed the same? What would your life look like if if everything just stayed the same? And the program that's running in all of us is something that's been passed down not only from generation to generation, but from school systems. And if you're a religious person from your religion, that we should be practicing the same. Because when we're the same, then we are essentially factory workers for the system that has been created by man himself to keep us contained, to keep us working for the system that has been produced. I think back to Native American history and how so many tribes moved around to for different seasons, for different migrations, for different reasons, that they weren't afraid to move. They just knew it was part of the the cycle, this the the flow of nature, the law of the land. And here in America, we put so much emphasis on buying a home and taking that piece of land and making it ours. And and the price tag of those homes to make it ours, to to somehow make it seem that we are more protected than we really are. The price tag of that has gotten so ridiculous that you know I I remember 10 years ago buying a house, or maybe it was 2013, so maybe it was 12 years ago buying a house, which doesn't seem like that long ago. And the house was $150,000, and it was a three-bedroom, or I'm sorry, it was a four-bedroom, three-bathroom house with a nice big yard, a huge, what do they call it? It's not, it wasn't a garage, it was a um, I don't know, where they kept horses back in the day. And it had an upstairs there too, and something shed, not a storage shed, a anyways, and it had a infinity pool, it had its own little room with an infinity pool in it for the kids. And gosh, I don't remember what our house payment was. Maybe, maybe it was $1200, maybe it was $750, like I don't know, but it wasn't very much. And we also needed a co-signer, so my parents co-signed because my ex and I, we both had just started our businesses, so we didn't have a ton of income to show. But here's the thing like I just said, we were both just starting out in our businesses, and we were able to afford a home. And how beautiful is that that happened. Because even though I started saying about my business, like it's it is successful. I was able to create a successful business and own a home, and my ex was also able to start a business. Like, we started, he had this old ass truck and a couple of shovels and a wheelbarrow for his landscaping company. And I had a computer, one lens, and a camera for my photography company, and and a home and seven kids. And we were able to do it. And I just feel like the price tag of that life now, it I don't know how it could be done. Most people have to work so hard to run the system, to run the program, that there isn't that time to be the seeker, to be the adventurer, to be the experimenter. And I think it's by design, I think it's on purpose that more and more we have less and less, and we have to give and give. So then my question goes to like, how do we keep this human? To be human is to change and and to witness, and also to be an American person means to have a home and a job and be overwhelmed with not only financial duties, but also the duties of owning a home. And it's challenging. And now I live in an apartment, and I actually really love apartment living. And I I guess had I not met my boyfriend, would this place make me happier? Would I have done what I did as far as my business and changing? Because when I when I met him and when I started understanding the role and the reasoning for us meeting, it was so that my life could open up more. And that, like, here's the thing, I guess, because when I met him, I was very regimented in my business, I was working out all the time. Everything had a scheduled purpose, and it also felt very black and white. I didn't feel like it was my place yet, that I wasn't my place yet. I wasn't my safe space yet. And through this last nine months or so that we've been together, I've come to understand that I am my own safe space, and I am worthy of better clients, better income, a better life than what the program allowed me to believe. And I think that's the big thing. Like when you meet somebody that isn't in the program, you can't help but shed those layers and see the deeper understanding of energy and life. And it's not that I didn't have it before, it's just meeting another person that shares the same feelings and experiences changes who you are. And those people aren't easy to find. And maybe that's why I'm doing this podcast, is because I know what it's like to grow the business, to have to do all the things and then have it taken away from you over and over again. It seems to be a pattern in my life. I grow things and then I lose them, and I don't lose them because my gosh, what did I do? I lose them because I'm like a snake and I shed a skin I I shed a s a layer. And when I shed that layer, I grow. And I think that's a a beautiful metaphor for life that if we were just to stay in the same skin, we would never grow. And if we never grow, it means and there's also this challenge of growing, and the challenge I feel gets harder and harder every year. But and I'm not saying for me, but for younger generations, how hard it is to build a life that you can then shed and build another, and shed and build another. But look at how many wonderful people are actually doing it, even with house prices, even with gas prices. Like humanity is still expanding and growing despite all the attempts to program us to being little sheep, to being small, to staying in that box to feed the system. Like humanity's fucking awesome. People are awesome, truly awesome. Like you could go outside, go sit yourself in a coffee shop for an hour and just see laughter and emotion and sacrifice and babies and adults and just life. Life is still being experienced. So I guess if I'm going to leave you with one thing today, it's allowing that peace inside of you to open up and allow yourself to fill up your cup today, whether it's through a meditation and you're just visualizing a money tree, and you're just taking all these coins and all these beautiful pieces of gold off this money tree and filling up your basket. And as you take these coins and this money and the jewels off the tree, four more sprout up in its place so that you cannot just empty the tree and you just allow yourself to just be filled up with this beautiful gold energy. Or if you're going through hard times, just take a minute and take a deep breath and exhale and know that you are loved. And every time you do this, you allow an opening for more energy to come in that's gonna help sustain you and love you, and that energy never goes away. And the life that you want to live, it's waiting for you, but you have to open up from the inside and allow it. It's never gonna be anything you're gonna physically see on the outside and pluck it up and just be like, Yep, this is mine. And unless you're very lucky, and even then you'd probably still doubt yourself, and just don't be afraid. I hope you're having a great day, and I will see you next time.