Believe It Before You See It

Some of the hardest seasons of our lives are the ones that force us to root the fastest. This week on Soulful Sunday, Steph talks about the plant that grows out of solid rock — and why your toughest circumstances might be building your resilience, not breaking you.

She unpacks the difference between holding onto old stories as wounds versus using them as fuel, why fear-based thinking (and the algorithms feeding it) keep us small, and the one belief she was missing for years even while doing "all the right manifestation work." The messages you're feeding yourself — in the songs you sing, the books you pick up, the conversations you have — are telling you exactly where you are. Time to listen.

If you've been holding onto skeletons in the closet, wondering if you're "inadequately designed" for the life you want — this one's for you.

Transcript

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Hey and welcome back. It's Soulful Sunday with Steph on my podcast. And I was just thinking this morning about how in the toughest conditions that when plants choose to open their seed pod and grow their root that they might be growing in the most difficult situation. And by anchoring in and finding that water relatively very quickly because they only have so much time once it pops to access nutrients. I think it's 24 hours or 48 hours. And that plants in those situations are like a tree growing out of a rock, that they don't just survive, they thrive. And I think about that in my own life. And I want you to think about that in your own life. Instead of judging the hard times that you might have been through, instead of feeling like unworthy or lonely, or that people don't understand you, or you feel judged for the circumstances that you're in, that the circumstances that you are in are making you more resilient, they're making you more creative, they're making you shed all the old things that you don't need anymore so that you can shine brighter. For so long, I have identity around my mistakes. And I say mistakes, um, I don't mean mistakes. I feel like that's like the best word to use. And I built my identity around keeping those pieces of me in the dark, in the closet, so to speak, skeletons in the closet. And if I could give any advice to someone that is still holding those skeletons in their closet, they're holding on to the suffering. That I don't want to say that they're choosing suffering or you're choosing suffering, but you are choosing that vibration. You are choosing those thoughts, that process. And it might seem really difficult. I know when I was in that process, I uh in order to get out of the process, I thought I needed things in place like finances, like a home, all this mental work, and I I just overthought everything, thinking, thinking, thinking. And what that does energetically to our beautiful souls and our bodies is it it's draining. And when we overthink not only the situation that we've been in, but the situation that we want to be in, it does the opposite of helping you get there quicker, it holds you stuck, and I'm sure it's there for a reason. I'm sure there's a level of consciousness that that power, it's power. That's what it is. So as long as you are stuck in the past, worrying about holding on to the negative pressures and the negative stories, and treating the things that you went through as a challenge rather than an experience to become more whole and human, and you are stuck in the how am I gonna afford this? What's it gonna look like, and thinking that you know the answer, then ego. And when we're going through big changes in life, we don't want fear to lead the way because fear is a very low, very net. I don't wanna say I should say low negative vibration, and that fear attracts more fear. So that's when you're gonna hear more people saying, like, oh man, you can't do that, you shouldn't do that. You're gonna hear that message in marketing, you're gonna hear that message in the songs that you like and the people you hang out with, because vibration attracts vibration, and then you create your own algorithm of negative loops, and it is in your Instagram too. Everything is so finely tuned to keep us addicted, and fear is the same way, it's a very finely tuned machine, just like an algorithm that will keep you in a negative feedback loop. So, how do you get out of it? The first way, the first thing you have to do to get out of it to know that you're worthy of more. You have to find something within you that you feel deserves a place. Like, what is it inside of you that you feel is special, that you feel is uniquely you? And you have to be able to feel that spark, to feel that joy, to feel that love within you, so that you can start growing that seed. Because for so long, we've been given the message that we are not in power, that we do not have our own power, that life is too hard, and that you should stay small, stay safe, stay in the system, stay in the program. And that works for people, that works for a lot of people, and so I'm not dogging that at all. I'm just saying if you are having these feelings about yourself and you're feeling trapped in the old identity and you don't know how to get out, but you know you want to, this is this is that transformation that I'm talking about. How do you do it? And when you find that spark, something that you truly enjoy and you want to bring it out, and it's something that you want to share, even though you're so afraid of it, you still want to share it. That's the thing, that's the piece that you need to focus on. That is the little spark, the story that's coming through, trying to guide you. This is your guiding light, is that spark, that little piece inside of you that thinks, oh man, wouldn't it be cool if I did this or I did that? And it could be as simple as going to the coffee shop. It could be as simple as picking up a book that kind of caught your eye that is about something that you are interested in. So you have to follow these interests that do not amplify fear, do not amplify scarcity. Because we have an internal navigation system. We do. There's no denying that there is something that keeps our spirits alive. Look around you. Like there's no other way that there is something to us that we are more than just fear. And anyways, I'm getting off topic. So following those little light-hearted, skippity-dippity steps is the way that you start learning how to grow that seed. So who do you feed, right? So do you feel that feed the negative or do you feed the positive? And I would hear the messages of manifestation and law of attraction and all of these things, but I didn't understand this one simple step, which I think hopefully will help you all move through your shit faster. And that is the belief that it's real. The belief that beliefs are real. Because yes, you can write down your goals and you can affirm to yourself every day I am powerful, whatever it is. And but if you don't believe in the system that you're trying to access, it's in itself, in its integrity, in its wholeness, that's designed to keep you in the program, to keep you in the matrix, whatever you want to call it, you have to let go of the doubt and completely trust that there is an energetic force that wants you to be your best version of yourself. And that energetic force is going to assist you in whatever way possible. And that energetic force is you. You have to be willing to give it your all. You have to believe that you are worthy. You have to believe that this is your life, this is your chance, and that you will do whatever it takes to get it done. You can't take two steps and then take three steps back. I'm sure you've heard that, right? One step forward, one step back. Who fucking says that? The program says that. Those messages are designed so that you will stay small, so that you will doubt yourself and you will give up before you even give it a chance to grow. That's the part that I've been missing is the belief system. Even though I've seen it around me, my message to myself is that deep down I'm inadequately designed to handle the things I want in my life, and that the things I want in my life will always be a want, driving me to do more. So, what does that mean? What does that look like? That looks like a life that works that somebody works very, very hard for and doesn't see the results because that's my mindset. So if I change my mindset to the belief that I matter, that I am energy, that energy is around me, assisting me, and every cell in my body is a unique expression of me that my cells can't go believes. My cells are only mine, and I am so grateful for them every day that I am here and that that this is me, and this has made me exist. And there's such a deep meaning in just the existence of myself here that it gives me enough of that rocket fuel slash belief in myself that I matter, that I can make a difference, that my message and my voice is uniquely mine, and I can do with it what I want. And I'm being inspired to do so. So, because of that inspiration, I'm gonna put my fears aside, I'm gonna put my doubts aside, and I'm just going to simply hit the record button because it makes me happy. That's all the rocket fuel, the rocket fuel I need to keep going. And that's what I wanted to share with you today is just this idea that you can keep going and you can turn those algorithms that is self into whatever it is you want. And the thing is that you're already doing it. Everything that exists around you is because you've made that happen with your own thoughts, and everything happens because maybe you've had a really, really hard life and really bad things have happened to you and it's not in your control, right? Because, like, there's another part of that too. That of course we don't want bad things to happen to us. Of course, we don't like why would we want that? Well, maybe because the things we want we needed to access through that pain. Because the deeper the pain, the greater the reward. It's physics that the desires that we have, maybe the deeper the desires that we have in this life only occurred because of these bad things that needed to happen, or maybe the desire in itself created this awful thing that needed to happen because that's the fuel that we needed to get out of it. Does that make sense? There was a moment I remember walking through a grocery store, and this song came on by Maris Yahoo, and it was something about pulling back the arrow. And the further the arrow got pulled back, the more I was gonna shoot forward. And I heard that message, and I started to think about okay, just pull me back then as hard as I can. Pull me as hard as you can because I want to launch forward. Well, guess what? That universal message was keep pulling me back. Let's see how much I can take before I break. And so we have to be really, really careful about the messages that we are telling ourselves. And if you don't know what the messages are, listen, truly listen to the lyrics that you sing in the car. Look at the books that you're picking up. What are your friends telling you at coffee? Listen. Listen to the messages, and you will know exactly where you are at. And if it's aligning with who you are and who you want to be, let me fix that. Whatever the messages are is aligning you to you. If you don't like the messages that you're hearing, you have to start with the messages you are giving to yourself. Because you create your destiny, you create your universe. Nobody else gets to do that for you. Nobody else has that power except for you. And just add to that the belief that it's true. And you can only believe it if you see it, and you can only see it if you look around, and you know exactly why that message is there for you. You know exactly why you call that friend, you know exactly where you are. It's just very scary to realize that you are in control because it's what we have not been taught. It's what kind of has been quote unquote hidden because you can do all the things, and you can keep going to the self-help section of the library, you can keep listening to the songs that make you remember a childhood that wasn't so great. You can keep on reminding yourself of whatever it is you want. And I actually particularly like making playlists because then I can go back and see where I was five years ago when I felt like my deepest desires were unattainable. Again, I thought that the songs that I picked represented that and my life looked like that. And now I'm on another track where I understand that my beliefs are the things that are holding me back. So, what am I gonna pick up? What are the messages I'm going to allow myself to hear? That I am a powerful being, that I am love, that I am oneness with the universe. That power means nothing if it's not love power. Like, I don't want to be powerful. I just want to share love. Love is all you need. I hope you have a great Sunday. Thanks for sticking with me, and I will see you guys next time. Also, if you like this episode, please share it with a friend. Subscribe, do whatever you can, help me keep going. Love you guys.